Laszlo & Laszlo

With a list like the one below, one might be excused for thinking, “Most or at least the best parts are probably taken.” Not so; I have managed (mainly indirectly) to make a living from my book Svenskt Konstglas during the last few decades, and it is only now (spring of 2020) that I have begun to (commercially) develop The Laszlo & Laszlo Project. Over 60 titles are either published or publishable on Amazon (15 in English, though unpublished, as paper publishers seem not to like "e-published books" even if unsold). This applies to books in several other languages as well, so for all practical purposes: "nothing" is published. Additionally, there are 3 movie rights, as well as 1 finished script, 4 books eager to be turned into films, close to a dozen “treatments,” and a theatre play lost for 70 or 80 years. Yet, no efforts have been made to find publishers or producers. Everything is in place and "ready to roll", and the texts and projects below—as well as texts/projects in other languages—are all more or less unexploited (at least since the 1970s). VIDEO

NB. As the Laszlo & Laszlo Project includes non-English components, you can read about the Spanish, Italian, French, German, and Swedish projects of similar size and their possibilities (though typically only the English and Swedish receive continuous updates). 

BOOKS

1. My Uncle Jacinto(Senior) (10 languages) is a new adaptation of the English translation of Mi Tio Jacinto. An earlier, quite good translation was published by Random House, who did not wish to part with it for a price I could afford; therefore, I produced a new translation from the original Spanish. This is a book for children of all ages: a bestseller in Spanish, popular in Japan, and a blockbuster movie starring Pablito Calvo worldwide. A prominent Paris newspaper wrote, "Nothing like this has been written since The Little Prince." If you have any plausible reason for wanting to watch the movie, feel free to contact me. See article. VIDEO
2. Paco Never Fails(Sr.) (6 languages) is a new adaptation and English translation of Paco el Seguro. An older English translation exists by “Random House,” but it is not of good quality, and they were asking far too high a price for the translation rights. Consequently, I created a new translation and adaptation from the original text. This book narrates the story of an honest and simple man in 1940s Madrid who earns his living by ensuring that the wet-nurse’s milk does not dry up by making them pregnant; it was also adapted into a film starring Alfredo Landa. If you have any reasonably legitimate reason to wish to watch the movie, please feel free to contact me. See article. VIDEO
3. Mother Unknown(Sr.) (4 languages) is an adaptation and English translation of Donde los Vientos Duermen/Madre Desconocida. In Tangiers, during WWII, a young boy is left on the doorstep of Kurt, our protagonist, holding an unsigned letter: "Kurt, You always wanted a son. Here he is. Don’t try to find me." That Kurt is the father is beyond doubt, but who is the mother? Kurt searches across war-torn Europe: Naples, Paris, and Avila. The subject matter is of top quality, and the story logic of this text, which until now has not been available in English, has greatly improved during the translation. I have good reason to believe that Mother Unknown will become a film. See article. VIDEO
4. Doña Juana(Sr.) (4 languages) is an adaptation/English translation of the Spanish original. It is “a theatre script dressed up as a novella,” and has not previously been available in English. Written in a feminist spirit, Don Juan travels through time to give Juanita (who will become Doña Juana) a lesson on how to deal with men, but soon finds himself enamoured with the girl. The influence of Senior’s friend, Simone de Beauvoir, is obvious. The novella has been transformed back into a script. See article. VIDEO
5. Short Stories by Senior (Sr.) (5 languages) is an adaptation and English translation of Solo el Paisaje Cambia. Although this book has been published separately in English, it has also been released as the first part of The Tale of Two Knaves/The Laszlo & Laszlo Chronicles, which is introduced below (9). See article. VIDEO
6. The Seal Castle(Sr.) (3 languages) is an adaptation and translation into English of El Castello de las Focas. Before leaving his homeland (Austro-Hungary) and seeking to save on rent, Senior took up residence in the famous Turkish Baths of Budapest, known as the Seal Castle. This book contains reflections from that time, and although it is written in a manner similar to The Crab's Rhapsody, these two works are quite distinct in style from his later publications. Since they are both quite short, I might combine them into one. See article. 
7. The Crab's Rhapsody(Sr.) (3 languages) is an adaptation and English translation of La Rapsodia del Cangrejo. After leaving his homeland, Austro-Hungary, Senior spent some time in Paris before escaping the occupation by moving to Spain. This book contains reflections from that period, and while it is written in a style similar to The Seal Castle, the two books are stylistically distinct from his later works. Since both are quite short, I might merge them into one. See article. 
8. The Complete Works of Andres Laszlo (Sr.) (in two languages) comprise all seven of Senior’s fictional works. Now translated into English and available on Amazon, the publication of his complete works is a viable option in both Spanish and English. The fact that all seven books have been translated and adapted (with five out of seven significantly improved) presents various possibilities, and all future translations of Senior should rely on these English texts. See article. 
9. The Tale of Two Knaves/The Laszlo & Laszlo Chronicles (Sr. & Jr.) (5 languages) is a biographical collection of 49 short stories, spanning 110 years of adventures featuring Andres Laszlo Sr. and Andres Laszlo Jr.; we’ve encountered some rather intriguing ones. If you’re seeking a fresh take on biography or ideas for film scripts (or perhaps even man-eating tigers in the Sundarbans), look no further. See article. VIDEO
10. The Challenge(Jr./Junior) (6 languages) is my adaptation of Mi Tio Jacinto. Here, Madrid becomes Cape Town; bullfighting becomes boxing; white becomes black/coloured; the 1940s become the 2010s, and 20.000 pages become 70.000. It features 70 great illustrations (in the same style as the cover) and presents an attractive hardback children's book in A4 format. It is also available as a script (see "23" below). See article. 
11. The Drug Problem(Jr.) (2 languages) is a liberal, anti-illegality book regarding drug policy. It addresses nearly all aspects of the drug issue; however, the suffering involved is not a major focus. It concludes that whether drugs themselves are good or bad is of little concern. Instead, what should be of interest is that the consequences of illegalisation are significantly worse than those that would likely result from a more liberal approach: they are so detrimental that the question of whether the consumption of narcotic drugs would increase or whether more people would use drugs (or even die from drugs) if legalised or liberalised becomes relatively insignificant. See article. 
12. Short Stories by Junior(Jr.) (5 languages) is a book about my/Junior’s adventures. As no one wanted to listen to my thoughts on drug policy, I made some money and embarked on a project every man should undertake. I have had many great adventures, featuring an interesting tiger as a co-star. Although this book is available on its own in English (as The Laszlo & Laszlo Chronicles I), it is also available – along with an introductory paragraph of biographical comments on each story – as the second part of The Tale of Two Knaves/The Laszlo & Laszlo Chronicles, mentioned above. See article. VIDEO
13. Dysfunctional Discourses II(Jr.) (1 language) is a book project that, if successful, will undoubtedly render me persona non grata on this planet. As I wrote The Drug Problem, I came to realise that the illegalisation of narcotic drugs is an astonishingly dysfunctional way of organising ourselves. I then thought: “Maybe drug illegality is only one of several different ways in which we organise ourselves dysfunctionally.” So far, Dysfunctional Discourses is little more than a project in its infancy: a project about how and why we organise ourselves poorly. See article. 
14. The Caspian Connection (Jr.) (two languages) is the first two books in an intended series, where we follow the adventures of Odin’s son, who is unaware of his true father, as he traverses the earth in the present day. It is only now, in 2020, that the books have begun to be presented in English and Swedish. This adventure series contains intricate backstories and hidden complexities that impress me. See article. Also, see a separate article on book 2.
15. Swedish Art Glass(Jr.) (2 languages) is truly about several books on Swedish art glass, all based either on my own (quite well-received) Svenskt Konstglas from 1989, or my later investigations into Flygsfors Glassworks and “Coquille.” These books share one commonality: unless Swedish art glass receives much more appreciation, they will not be published without financial assistance. See the article in English or a more comprehensive article in Swedish.
16. Illegality is a Scam. Although I endeavoured to write the most entertaining book on politics imaginable in The Drug Problem, I realised I could create something less academic and more commercial. Thus, I have compiled my most compelling, provocative, and controversial arguments into a shorter format, intending to use it for a "TED-type video". Coupled with numerous illustrations in Red-Bull-gives-you-wings style, along with a "pulpit approach", this represents my latest project. I have just completed the English version and hope to find some time soon to translate it into Swedish.

    MOVIES, SCRIPTS & PROJECTS

17. My Uncle Jacinto - movie royalties (Sr.). This film was an international blockbuster. Over the last 30+ years, I have received only a couple of thousand euros (all in/from 2017); there must be a substantial amount of royalties to be collected worldwide by someone with the right skills. Please see the article below (16). VIDEO
18. My Uncle Jacinto - new animated movie (Sr.). My Uncle Jacinto must be one of the world’s most popular children’s books and movies never to be animated. At Spanish film festivals, it is often highlighted as one of the top five Spanish and Hispanic films of all time. Today, as we may quite possibly say goodbye to bullfighting for good, and since Jacinto is a torero, this is a story that “must” be animated. See the article below (17). VIDEO
19. Paco Never Fails - movie royalties(Sr.). This film has apparently never been screened outside of Spain; nevertheless, there should be at least some Spanish royalties to collect (other than those paid by SGAE). Furthermore, I own the Scandinavian distribution rights, so I am seeking a film seller to approach Scandinavian broadcasters on my behalf. See the article below (18). 
20. Paco Never Fails - new movie(Sr.). I have been called twice from across the world to Gallimard in Paris, and twice I have been asked to sell the rights to create new films based on the book. On both occasions, I managed to make a fool of myself, and each time it came to nothing. However, there is a silver lining: an adaptation could now also be made from a new and much improved English translation. See the article below (19). 
21. Sin Uniforme - movie royalties(Sr.). This film was adapted from a script that Senior co-wrote (1948) with a friend. I am uncertain what can be done regarding this film. Warner Brothers produced it, and Ladislao Vajda directed; perhaps there are royalties to be collected. See the article below (20). 
22. Mother Unknown - movie(Sr.) is the only one of Senior’s three major novels that hasn't been adapted into a film, despite the subject matter arguably being the most appealing. However, at the time of his passing, he was in negotiations with a production company. Today, the text has been translated into English (for the first time) and has been adapted, particularly with “movie” in mind. See the article below (21). 
23. Doña Juana - theatre/musical/operetta(Sr.). When a young girl is about to lose her fiancé, Don Juan travels through space and time to give the poor lass a lecture. However, the girl proves to be a much better student than Don Juan anticipated, and he soon finds himself enamoured. A theatre script already exists (essentially a month of cut-and-paste with a producer), and in Paris, Marcel Marceau performed Doña Juana as a mime interpretation, which would indeed make for a great operetta/opera/musical. See the article below (22). 
24. The Challenge: Script - movie(Jr.). The original project—to use my script to make a film in Cape Town with Tim Spring directing—was rejected by RFF due to “too much of a Hollywood ending” (which was hopefully not the true reason, because if it was, they could not have read the script closely enough). It would make an excellent family film. See the article below (23). 
25. Short Stories - movies(Sr. & Jr.). My father and I have both led adventurous lives, relying on more luck than is typically granted in order to survive. Although my own short stories are not always suitable for cinematic adaptation (yet, I’ve got three), Senior's often are, particularly since a conscious effort has been made to render them even more “treatment-like” during their translation into English. See the article below (24). 
26. The Caspian Connection - movies(Jr.) consists of two nearly finished books. It is a substantial project, and the film aspect is a crucial element. See the article below (25). 
27. Revive Dad - project(Jr.). Senior was once considered a top 20th-century European writer, and I believe that the only reason he has been forgotten (apart from my own early disinclination to make an effort to keep his memory alive) is that none of his four “fatherlands” - born Austro-Hungarian, nationalised French but remembered mainly as a Spanish writer - have chosen to adopt him. To revive his memory, I am seeking assistance from these countries, or perhaps from an international organisation, but I am not an "administrative man". See article. 
28. Talks by Junior - project(Jr.). I am quite passionate about 1. Drug Illegality (which I believe is negative) and 2. Swedish Art Glass (which I believe is positive), and you may well find me ready to discuss these topics. There will, DV, come a day when I shall be prepared to do the same regarding Dysfunctional Discourses. See article. 

MORE ON MOVIES, SCRIPTS & THEATRE

"Movies" concern the three films adapted from Andres Laszlo Senior's texts and scripts in general, particularly: 1. The failure to receive compensation from the corporations that have broadcast these films, 2. The lack of payments from the individuals and organisations that sold the broadcasting rights to these corporations, "forgetting" about my father’s rights to royalties as a writer or co-writer of original texts and/or film scripts, and 3. The scriptwriters' organisations (such as SGAE in Spain and SACD in France) may have either neglected to collect royalties on my behalf (especially in countries other than Spain and France) or have lost track of overdue payments (dating back to 1984). "Scripts" – aside from The Challenge, which already has an existing script - pertain to the potential of creating new films, scripts, or treatments based on my or my father’s texts: a new script for Paco Never Fails, a script for Mother Unknown, an animated adaptation of My Uncle Jacinto, or discovering new script ideas in The Laszlo & Laszlo Chronicles, which contains 47 short stories. “Theatre” involves the possibility of staging Doña Juana as a theatre play from a virtually completed script or adapting it into an opera, operetta, or musical.

16. MY UNCLE JACINTO - ROYALTIES (Sr.)

Senior wrote the children’s book Mi Tio Jacinto/My Uncle Jacinto, and later also the script for the film (alongside the director Ladislao Vajda). As the film became a blockbuster and remains popular—often shown at festivals as part of Spain’s 5 "best movies ever"—there should be substantial outstanding royalties to be collected from the broadcasting of the film, especially in the Hispanic world. Spanish "SGAE" appears willing to pay me only for the last few years, and the Italians (My Uncle Jacinto/Pepote was a Spanish/Italian co-production) have, as far as I am aware, never paid me anything; apart from SGAE’s royalty payments of 2 x €2500 (all in 2017), I have received nothing since my father's demise in 1984. I am now a resident of Spain, where the film remains popular, and I am told that it is aired not only by Spanish and Mexican television but also by various South and Central American countries, as well as in Italy, France, and other European countries. Therefore, there should be plenty of royalties to be collected/recovered by whoever knows how to go about it. SACD (the French) states that although Senior was a member, My Uncle Jacinto/le Muchacho is not registered with them. 

17. MY UNCLE JACINTO/ANIMATION - NEW MOVIE (Sr.)

Let me first ask you, how many children’s novels have been translated into ten languages and made into a blockbuster movie? Honestly, how many of these have not been turned into animated films? I know of only one, and unfortunately, the rights to that belong to me. My Uncle Jacinto has outstanding potential as an animated film. My Uncle Jacinto is a book for children of all ages and depicts a special day in the lives of downtrodden ex-bullfighter Jacinto and his streetwise nephew, Pepote. Honour is one antagonist, crime another, alcohol a third, and separation a fourth, which serves as a sort of common denominator. Jacinto accepts an offer to play the lead role in a comic bullfight but declines the promoter's offer of assistance, proudly declaring that he has the required outfit. Thus, the middle part of the story focuses on chasing the money necessary to rent the gear, all against the backdrop of Madrid's criminality in the 1940s: everything from recycling cigarette butts to a Goya art scam. For a long time, things look bleak: Jacinto is down and out, broke, ridiculed in front of what we perceive as the better part of Madrid, and he has lost his main reason to exist—his honour. Even worse, he has lost this honour in front of the boy, who is the only important person in his life and who is about to be taken from him. Don’t be silly; of course, My Uncle Jacinto has a happy ending, sort of, maybe, if you choose to read it that way. 

18. PACO NEVER FAILS - ROYALTIES (Sr.)

Andres Laszlo Sr. wrote the novel Paco el Seguro/Paco Never Fails and co-wrote the movie script with Didier Haudepin (who directed). However, it appears that Sr. is not credited for his contributions to the script – and possibly not even for writing the book on which the script is based - with SACD (now possibly resolved). The book/script was adapted into a film, but due to contractual complications, it (allegedly) was never shown outside Spain. Together with Didier Haudepin and my then-agent George Hoffman/Agence Hoffman, I attempted to acquire the rights for outside Spain, but without success. However, Allain Katz (now deceased)/AWA Films succeeded where we did not, and I have a contract with AWA Films, negotiated by George Hoffman, that grants me the broadcasting rights for the Scandinavian countries, along with a promise of a commercial copy of the film and €7.500, once the movie is commercialised outside Spain. However, the rights have now been purchased by Dynamics Films Library S.A, and CEO Dominique Vignet explains that: (i) the debts were not included in the purchase, (ii) there is no copy for me as he has none to give or copy, and (iii) as the film has not been exploited (or because debts were not included in the purchase), there are no €7.500 either. Thus, I have received neither the commercial copy that the contract stipulates I should receive, nor the money that I am owed. It should be noted that there may be royalties from Paco not only from Spain but possibly (though, if so, probably illegally) also from France and perhaps from elsewhere. The Spanish SGAE has Paco el Seguro registered, but SACD (the French scriptwriters' organisation) states that although Sr. was a member, Paco l’infaillible is not registered with them.

19. PACO NEVER FAILS - NEW MOVIE (Sr.)

Gallimard (Prune Berge/TV5) summoned me to Paris at least twice between 1999 and 2002 (actually, I think it was three times, but I am not certain) to sign contracts worth around €250,000 for new adaptations of the original text into films. However, on each occasion, it came to nothing, mainly because I acted foolishly and unprofessionally. Yet, this suggests that Paco Never Fails could serve as the basis for new screen adaptations. Additionally, a new and significantly improved English text is now available for script adaptation, which hopefully can generate interest in English-language productions. If you have read the book, you may find it intriguing that in the new adaptation: 1. More suspicion has been cast on Ricardo as the manipulator of Paco, leading to his death (thus adding a dimension of "murder mystery' that could easily be further developed), and 2. The importance of "the blue circle" has been highlighted. As the phenomenon around which the story centres – the “impregnator” occupation – must have existed in more or less every major city, it is likely that a new adaptation could appeal not only to French filmmakers. In fact, I have never understood why the French have been far more interested in making a new film set in Madrid than the Spanish. As the text now exists in six languages—Spanish, English, French, German, Catalan, and Italian—there are numerous possibilities. The book was adapted into a film by Didier Haudepin, with Alfredo Landa portraying Paco. The story is set in Madrid in the early 1940s (i.e., during World War II and just after the end of the Spanish Civil War). Here we meet Paco Garcia (a real person), who earns his living by impregnating young girls from the countryside: girls who have come to Madrid with the aim of creating a better life for themselves as wet nurses. Once the milk from their previous pregnancies ceases, these girls need to get it flowing again; that is, they need to become pregnant. This was a legitimate profession at the time—I am told that in some parts of the world it still is, or at least was until quite recently—and the “impregnator” most likely to succeed (i.e. "who never failed") became the one in highest demand. Paco sees himself as a serious and professional man, and he is determined to justify the income he earns from his trade in this 100% decent period drama, which tackles a subject that allows for a wide variety of alternative approaches. However, "never fails" isn't really true because Paco has failed once – he has failed to grant his own wife her greatest wish, which is to become a mother – and this is the main concern. Therefore, when Maria unexpectedly becomes pregnant, Paco’s world descends into chaos. “Am I really the father?” asks the father of thousands. Though I/Andres Laszlo Jr. do not remember, I have been told that I have met the real Paco, and whether it is truly so or not, to him and his thousands of offspring still alive, I will dedicate this new film adaptation.

20. SIN UNIFORME - ROYALTIES (Sr.)

Senior wrote the script (the story part) for this movie, alongside his friend Eugenio Montes (who wrote the dialogue). Sin Uniforme/Without Uniform is from 1948, although some sources suggest it was not released until 1950, and I have no idea regarding the situation concerning rights and royalties. However, this film is likely registered with (French) SACD as Der Drennende Radfahrer. On Spanish “Filmaffinity,” there is ample information about the film, which was produced by Warner Brothers and directed by Ladislao Vajda. The producer was “Peninsular Films,” and amongst the cast, one notices Rafael Durán and Blanca de Silos.

21. MOTHER UNKNOWN - NEW MOVIE (Sr.)

This, Senior's first major novel, he was turning into a (French) script at the time of his demise. Although I still have the correspondence, I have lost the script itself. However, whether or not it is recoverable - it should be somewhere, with someone - this is a text from which excellent cinema can be made. In the new translations of Paco el Seguro and My Uncle Jacinto (although Random House's English translation of Paco wasn't the best), little could be done to improve the original texts. However, Mother Unknown – also published as Donde los Vientos Duermes, Madre Desconocida, Mere Inconnue, and Die Mutter Meinen Shones – was a totally different kettle of fish. Here, Senior was still "unfinished" as a writer and remarkably "improvable," quite possibly so because no professional content editing had been provided (only Jacinto and Paco received that). In 2017, the Spanish text was translated into English while being adapted, and it is now an excellent basis for a script. Considering that the text was on the verge of becoming, at worst, a "near miss" as a film in the 1980s (at Senior’s demise), I believe there ought to be a good chance that the into-English adaptation shall do well, especially as, until now, no English translation has existed.

The story begins in Tangiers during World War Two, less than five minutes from Gibraltar as the rocket flies: a large town or perhaps a small city. Whatever it was, it remained outside the war and the world order to which much of Europe had been compelled to submit, yet not outside the whirlwind of plots that surrounded it. This is the scene upon which the curtain rises for the first act of Senior’s first significant novel. Tangier, however, is merely the setting that Andres Laszlo Sr. has chosen to commence this drama. Late at night, a young boy is left at the door of our protagonist, holding an unsigned letter: "Kurt, You always wanted a son. Here he is. Don’t try to find me." That Kurt is the father is beyond dispute, but who is the mother? Kurt goes in search across war-torn Europe: Naples, Paris, and Avilla. The theme is first-rate, and I believe that this story will soon become a film. This is a tribute to motherhood, though not one previously seen. Just as Doña Juana, this is a text open to feminist interpretations, but whereas Doña Juana is light and full of humour...

22. DOÑA JUANA - THEATRE/MUSICAL/OPERETTA (Sr.)

As I finished translating this "theatre-script dressed us so as to read like a novella," I was amazed. This is world-class—probably explained at least in part by the fact that Senior was a theatre director in Austro-Hungary—not only as a theatre piece but even more so in its potential to be transformed into an operetta, opera, or musical. With some rewriting, this theatre script could be performed by just three men and a woman (though four plus one would make things easier), and only two sets (or a split scene) are required. Marcel Marceau starred in a mime version in Paris (http://www.ina.fr/video/CAF97065359/marcel-marceau-dom-juan-video.html). The story is set in Malaga in the 1930s, on the coast, always within reach of the lighthouse’s beam. It is late. An old manor house. Let us enter: a band is playing, and we find our way to the library, where myopic Juanita tries to locate Don Juan Tenorio in hopes of finding a way out of her terrible predicament. Juanita—who, when we reach the end of the story, will have metamorphosed into Doña Juana—is the devastated daughter of the house, who has just discovered that her fiancé is about to elope; and to make matters worse, she overhears the enamoured couple planning their escape. Tears fall into her lap—and into the book she had come to read in the hope of finding a solution—as she realises that all is lost; "Oh Don Juan, if you only were here..." "But I am here." "Who are you!" "I am Don Juan." "Don Juan who?" "Just Don Juan." Yes, "that" Don Juan has travelled through space and time to provide the poor girl with some assistance: to show her how to escape her dilemma by manipulating men, much as he manipulated women. However, the girl turns out to be better at "this thing called love" than expected, and Don Juan soon finds himself enamoured with the girl, who proves to be a great puppet master and ruler of the destinies of men. The emotional foundation for a great musical is in place: Mr. Lloyd Webber, if you are reading this... And for anyone wanting to incorporate a bit of modern psychology into the piece—or perhaps some Lacan or Kristeva... (Simone de Beauvoir is already there, as she undoubtedly influenced Senior in writing the piece)—it would constitute a great vehicle for doing so. Beware, males of the species: Doña Juana has arrived!

23. THE CHALLENGE: SCRIPT - MOVIE (Jr.)

The Challenge: Script is my adaptation of my own book, The Challenge, which in turn is an adaptation of My Uncle Jacinto. Here, the 1950s, Madrid, and bullfighting become the 2010s, Cape Town, and boxing. I sought a production grant from RFF (with producer Tim Spring), and I was informally told that it had been a near miss, caused by what they (quite incorrectly) interpreted as a "Hollywood ending.” 

The story revolves around Baba and his nephew, Tiger, and centres on a pivotal day in their lives. The true hero is the bond between the two, while the heavy burden is separation. Baba—a prematurely aged, rheumatic, not particularly bright, drunken, former prodigy boxer, with only a hint of imagined honour, exceptional speed, and his nephew's upbringing left to validate his existence—mistakenly gets selected for the champion position in a ‘Challenge-the-Champ boxing extravaganza,’ where old, former champions can be challenged by anyone from the public. Faced with a dilemma, as he has sworn never to box again—primarily to prove to his nephew, whom he believes he is caring for, that he is not the down-and-out drunkard that he knows everyone tells the boy he is—Baba decides to accept. Tiger—a cuddly, bright, sprightly, and fun-loving eight-year-old—who has so far successfully evaded school and is by far the more streetwise of the two—understands that it is he who is looking after his uncle.

The beginning. In the township, it rains, and Tiger builds a waterwheel, nearly drowning his sleeping uncle. The letter from the boxing promoter arrives but is not taken seriously. Tiger and Baba travel to the town centre for their usual scavenging. While collecting cigarette butts, they spot a poster proclaiming Baba to be the champ to be challenged. The issue can no longer be disregarded, and an upset Baba calls the promoter to protest but ultimately ends up accepting the role of champ. Baba, too proud to accept assistance, pretends that he has the necessary boxing gear.

The narrative revolves around the various tricks and petty crimes they engage in to secure the funds necessary to rent the boxing gear, all while the threat of separation—embodied by a fake-watch salesman, a musician, the police, a children’s court, a real criminal, a professional hit-man, and so forth—grows increasingly tangible. Their day unfolds against a backdrop of the full spectrum of Cape Town criminality, ranging from reusing stamps to a multimillion-pound diamond scam. As a last resort, Baba, in a moment of dishonour, attempts to sell a counterfeit watch with Tiger’s help, but they are apprehended. Baba appears to be on the verge of going to jail, while Tiger faces the prospect of being sent to a children’s court. Dishonour and separation seem inevitable; the boxing gear shop is on the brink of closure, and Baba—plausibly and rationally enough to persuade many of us—is advised that he should ‘give the poor kid a chance’: that he’s no good for Tiger.

The end begins as Baba, devastated, is sent off with a warning. Next, Tiger wriggles out of trouble, persuading the gear-renter to give Baba credit, locating his uncle, and getting him to the clothes shop. Now we follow them, with Baba dressed to fight, on the bus to the stadium where Baba skillfully handles the first opponent: he’s still quick. Eventually, he becomes overwhelmed by his excessive desire for honour and makes the mistake of accepting the challenge from an athlete twice his size, who has been sent to defeat him. It is in this challenger that the danger of separation takes its final form. Baba puts up a great fight but is ultimately down, out, and made a fool of. Baba has lost what justified his existence—his honour—and Tiger has witnessed his ultimate humiliation. Baba hesitantly approaches to bid farewell to his crying nephew. Don’t be silly; of course, it has a happy (Abrahamic, actually) ending, perhaps, if you choose to read it that way. Read more.

24. SHORT STORIES - MOVIES (Sr. & Jr.)

I have compiled my own short stories alongside my father’s to create The Laszlo & Laszlo Chronicles. Among these, several stories may pique a producer's interest, as Senior's short stories often read like treatments.

Senior led an adventurous life, and his collection of (22) short stories – first published in Spanish as Solo el Paisaje Cambia, and now as the second part of The Laszlo & Laszlo Chronicles – exemplifies this. Senior has crafted his short stories expressively, and as I translated them into English, I endeavoured to have several of them read as closely as possible to (movie) treatments: 1. The Little Circus Horse is a fully realised philosophical and slightly melancholic children’s story. 2. Murder by Default is a dark tale told from a murderer’s perspective. 3. My Friend in the Photo is a compelling vampire tale that could benefit from a stronger ending. 4. A Beautiful Girl is a romantic tragicomedy. 5. The Man in the Blue Tuxedo could serve as an excellent piece for a film which demonstrates how a gambler made a fortune in an entertaining manner. 6. The Spy might have piqued Hitchcock’s interest, and 7. The Olga Case, Bergman. 

Junior, I have led a rather adventurous and intriguing life, and my collection of 22 short stories reflects this (especially if you find a charming man-eating tiger captivating). My own short stories, mainly drawn from The Caspian Connection and The Drug Problem, comprise the second part of The Laszlo & Laszlo Chronicles: 8. Man-eating Tiger. There’s a tale of a tiger (or rather, several, all quite brief), narrated from the tiger(s)’ perspective. Though I am not an ethologist, I did put some effort into the research, so if you are a tiger-enthusiast producer, this might pique your interest. 9. Panama/Conduction recounts my adventures in Panama, encountering (deposed) General Noriega’s narco-police, and constitutes a nearly 100% true, entirely Kafkaesque drama that simultaneously illustrates how the prohibition of drugs corrupts the very fabric of society (through one of two unrecognised mechanisms). 10. A Drug-lord’s Tale/Convection dives into the drug trade from a drug lord's point of view, while also highlighting how the illegality of drugs corrupts the very fabric of society (via one of two unrecognised mechanisms).

25. THE CASPIAN CONNECTION - MOVIES (Jr.)

This project is simply too large to present, especially as a script, since I haven’t even begun to contemplate it yet. In fact, I haven’t even finished the books, despite them being 955 presentable. Therefore, allow me to attempt to impress you with a little backstory on the villains:

Let us go to Baghdad; there is a heated argument between those who call themselves “The Kharijites” and the religious leaders of The Abbasids. Nearly 200 years have passed since the Prophet’s death, and perhaps 100 years since the original "Addendum" was destroyed. In this dispute, the Kharijites advocate the use of unprovoked violence to promote the continued spread of Islam. When the Prophet's (and God's) intention behind the original Addendum—which was: no unprovoked war—is invoked to counter the Kharijites’ argument, they claim that if there ever was such an Addendum—which probably there wasn’t—it must certainly have been a forgery, produced by A’isha or Uthman, attempting to pervert the true spirit of the Koran; "Had the writings been here now, that could easily have been proven." Now, a loose-mouthed member of the Abbasids drops a bombshell by revealing that a large silver plate, along with six smaller copies, ordered by the Prophet, was engraved with the text of the now-destroyed original Addendum, solely to ensure that violence was never used in the name of Islam. Moreover, the loose-mouthed individual blurts out that these plates are set to be disclosed to the world on the 200th anniversary of the Prophet’s death, i.e., in a matter of days. The Kharijites must back down, and panic ensues within their ranks. The leadership of the Abbasids has deliberately withheld this information from the Kharijites to prevent them from stealing or destroying the plates, and the man who has prematurely disclosed this information has acted hastily, especially as he has enabled the Kharijites to deduce the location of the nearest shrine. There may still be sufficient time for the Kharijites to halt at least the initial shrine from opening. The loose-mouthed individual is admonished, and the Kharijites are cautioned not to try to obstruct the opening of the shrines.

Now, in a Kharijite emergency meeting regarding the upcoming opening of the shrines, no agreement is reached. One group argued that it’s too risky to pursue the “Six and The One”; "They are watching us, and if anything happened to the plates, they would know that it was we who had done it, and we would all be destroyed." However, the radicals argue that the plates must be found and destroyed at any cost. "With them exposed to the world, our cause would be forever lost." There is no consensus, but in secret, the radical branch of the Kharijites – consisting of seventy-seven members – sets off to trace The One and The Six in order to destroy them all and to kill anyone with knowledge of them. They reach the first location, where the shrine’s keepers greet them as brothers in faith. 

However, after obtaining all the sought-after information, they slaughter the entire order. As they have discovered the next destination (of "Muhammad’s Travellers": those who opened the shrines 200 years ago) they set out for it, and as they reach the second shrine (just about to be opened), the keepers greet them much like they were greeted at the first. However, they behave as before, and they discover that the next destination of Muhammad's Travellers was Djardjan; they set out for it. In June 832, upon reaching Djardjan, they find that the shrine, which housed four of the five missing plates, has been looted a few days earlier by Karli, a Viking from the Swede’s country (Odin’s son, though Karli doesn’t know this: our protagonist). 

Some of the Kharijites suggest it’s time to give up, while others even argue it must be God’s will; still, some insist it’s their duty to follow the Vikings and destroy the plates, regardless of the cost. In any case, it seems improbable that they will manage to catch up with the Vikings before they return to their homeland: the country of the Swedes. Moreover, following them back home would require recovering the plates from Karli on his own turf; not an easy task.

Chaos and confusion ensue, leading to the decision to hold a council. This council reaches no conclusion, and to resolve the issue, it is decided that a poetry challenge will take place; Handsome Jacob from Spain – who represents those intent on pursuing Karl - emerges victorious for the radicals. It is resolved that Karli must indeed be pursued and that the plates must be destroyed at any cost; for, failing this, the Kharijites’ very reason for existence would cease. However, since it is unlikely – at least if they all pursue him as a group – that they will catch up with the Vikings before they reach the Swede’s country, this idea is abandoned. The alternative of sending a single man with horses and enough gold and silver to purchase the plates is then discussed. Nevertheless, this endeavour – should they fail to catch up with Karli before he arrives in the Swede’s country – is likely to require more than a man’s strength, silver, gold, and (quite possibly) a lifetime. Alternative solutions are sought and debated, but no viable new option is discovered. Thus, equipping their best rider with two horses and sufficient gold and silver to buy back the plates is seen as their optimal choice. Handsome Jacob - a Spaniard, a convert, the best rider, and the winner of the poetry competition - accepts the job: “Your task is to retrieve/destroy the silver plates at whatever cost.”

At this moment, an expert in pre-Islamic magic, the leader of those seven (mainly pre-Islamic) magicians who form part of The Kharijites' 77-strong radical core, suggests: “Here in Djardjan dwells a renowned and powerful jinni by the name of ”Djardja.” If we could make her accept the same challenge as Jacob has just accepted, she would have two thousand years to complete the task rather than half a man-age.” However, it is then argued that a jinni is too awkward and unreliable a creature to deal with, and, in addition, would be unlikely to be accepted by the Norse. Then, the magic experts suggest they offer the renowned jinni food and sex in order to make her accept entering a human’s (i.e., Jacob’s) body, thus giving her a human appearance and a persona that will seem less awkward. The pre-Islamic expert knows the necessary spells and rituals for preventing the jinni from breaking such a promise, and although Jacob protests vehemently, the suggestion is accepted. Men are then sent out to find suitable partners for the she-jinni and enticing jinn food. Once this is accomplished, the renowned jinni is conjured, admired, offered to, and presented with the proposal: “If you “marry into” a human shape (until your task is done) and pursue the Viking captain called Karli to retrieve the five silver plates he has stolen, we’ll provide you with the finest food money can buy and all the best humans-for-sex Djardjan can offer. The jinni/Djardja responds shrewdly: “But then, when I have exhausted myself in intercourse and consumed all food and drink my body can manage, what will I do then? If I cannot continue this way of life in the Viking’s country, looking for the silver plates, how will I benefit from this?” A new council is convened, and eventually, it is deemed acceptable for the jinni to become a long-term drain on the Kharijites' resources.