ANDRES LASZLO Jr. BIOGRAPHY & BIBLIOGRAPHY
Andres Laszlo Jr., aged less than two, was placed in the lap of Marilyn Monroe who allegedly said he was cute, so from that point onwards his life by definition has been downhill, and eighteen years later he found himself the 3rd worst student of his school (despite studying more than most) and weighing in at 26 stones. Yet, a year and a half later he was the fastest student in the world (or close to it), occasionally making some money from modelling.
PASSING TWO CUTE GIRLS IN THE STREET, WATCHING THEM GIGGLE AT ME, ONE PART OF ME SAID “EITHER THEY THINK I’M HOT OR THEY´VE READ ABOUT ME,” THE OTHER PART SAID “I LOOK SO DISGUSTING THAT THEY WANNA THROW UP,” SO OF COURSE I WENT TOTALLY BONKERS.
Junior assumed he was God’s gift to humanity and went in search of something good enough to devote his newfound gift and enthusiasm to fight for. Finding only scales of gray he changed his approach, and instead, he went in search of something bad enough to fight against. The scales were still grey, but since the darkest grey on the "fight-against-list" (drug illegality and money becoming the measure of what it shouldn't become a measure of) seemed closer to black than the lightest grey seemed to white on the "fight-for-list" (more/broader education and thinking for oneself/scepticism) he settled for "against" and though money becoming the measure of what it shouldn't become a measure of annoyed him a lot (and still does), he settled for drug illegality, quite possibly at least in part because it seemed the easier of the two. His drug-thinking was, and still is: Let others care about the users; what worries me is the supplier surpluses, the criminals and the corruption that illegality and higher prices create; what little "good stuff" follows from illegalization doesn’t come even close to compensate for this "bad stuff."
However, in his native Sweden, he found little or no encouragement: "We strongly recommend against such a thesis, and there’d be nobody outside police and academia allowed at your disputation," said his supervisor. "I don’t understand what you want to achieve," said Hans Holmér (Sweden’s “National Police Commissioner”) and "We cannot support such an approach," said Vienna (UNODC).
As going from "best" student to mediocre (or at least unrecognized) Ph.D. wasn't an attractive prospect, Laszlo Jr. gave up on academia and embarked on an all-the-things-a-man-should-have-done project, in order that if he one day got into the position to say something worthwhile, he would be properly prepared to do so. The first thing on his list was to sail around the world.
"ANDRES, YOU MIGHT BE BIG AND STRONG, BUT ONE NIGHT WHEN YOU SLEEP, I WILL KILL YOU," A LITTLE GIRL ON THE BOAT TOLD ME. LATER THE BOAT SUNK AND I LOST MY LAST CORONA.
Laszlo gave up: broke, humiliated and returning to Sweden with the unpalatable knowledge that in order to do all those things a man should have done, one needs not only a cool list but also money. Charlotte, a friend at Bukowski's (Sweden’s “Sotheby’s”), told him: I say buy Swedish art deco, and my boyfriend says buy Swedish art glass. Out of this Laszlo Jr. came up with Orrefors 1925 – 1950. He emptied the glass shops, bought cheaply at auction, sold the lesser part of his collection, wrote a book and became well of and famous.
"I TRIED TO TELL THE STUPID SWEDES THAT ORREFORS ART GLASS 1925 - 50 WAS THE ONLY THING THAT WE HAD BEEN THE BEST IN THE WORLD AT SINCE THE VIKING'S WOOD AND SILVER, BUT AGAIN: NOBODY LISTENED.
For a second time he set up an “all-the-things-a-man-should-have-done-list" - actually he seems to have based it on one he had composed at the age of 9 or 10: it was only as he pruned it down from 11 to 10 that he cut out "kiss a princess" - and he then spent 20 years doing (& failing to do) the things on the list:
3Y AT OXFORD (√), B.A. PHILOSOPHY (√), B.A. WRITING (√), ENGLISH AS WRITTEN LANGUAGE (√), OALD BY HEART (√), ATHLETE (√), SHOOT MAN-EATING TIGER (AN ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING RESOLUTION - SORRY), SURF PIPELINE (√), 200 COUNTRIES (189 WITH VERY CREATIVE COUNTING) & ACT JAMES BOND (FAILED; THEY ARE PROBABLY STILL LAUGHING AT ME).
Then, for 20 years, he had an indecent amount of fun and good fortune, doing (and failing to do) these things and now he seems to have settled down in Spain, close to Malaga (though he could be on the move again).
Andres Laszlo Jr. has long harbored two main preoccupations: “Illegalization of narcotic drugs causes a lot of bad things and very few good” and “Money is becoming the measure of what it shouldn't become the measure of.” Yet, he has always felt that there were people better suited than himself to get onto their soap boxes in order to deplore and explain this bad stuff - “dysfunctionalities”, as he thinks of them - and not until recently has he realized that: The fact that money is becoming the measure of what it ought not to be allowed to become the measure of could well be one important reason to why drug illegality is not repealed.
It was only then - as he realized that his two pet grievances maybe could be seen as somehow riding in tandem - that he started to believe that he knew part of the reason why dysfunctional social discourses were allowed to survive, thrive and rule us; it was only then that he felt that he might have something important to contribute; it was only then that he decided to put pen to paper and it was only then that he decided to start out on his series: "Dysfunctional Discourses" (starting with two books on the only dysfunctional discourse he feels he knows enough to say something about: drug illegality).
I STARTED TO THINK "MAYBE 'MONEYFICATION' IS ONLY ONE OF MANY 'HIDDEN DYSFUNCTIONALITIES,' CAUSING 'OBVIOUS/MANIFESTED DYSFUNCTIONALITIES' SUCH AS 'DRUG ILLEGALITY.'
And, sure enough, as Junior started to think about it, all sorts of dysfunctionalities - hidden and manifested - started to suggest themselves. Whereas the first part of Dysfunctional Discourses is about a particular an obvious dysfunctionality - drug illegality - the second part will DV be about what causes Dysfunctional Discourses in general.
(I) I WANT TO SHARE MY THOUGHTS ABOUT DYSFUNCTIONAL DISCOURSES, BECAUSE I THINK THEY ARE IMPORTANT, AND COULD BE USEFUL FOR THE ARRANGEMENT OF SOCIETY, (II) I WANT TO PROMOTE MY FATHER BECAUSE I THINK HE HAS BEEN UNFAIRLY NEGLECTED AND BECAUSE I DID NOT TREAT HIM AS WELL AS HE DESERVED DURING HIS LIFETIME & (III) I WANT TO SELL MY OWN FICTIONAL TEXTS AND ADAPTATIONS BECAUSE I FEEL THEY ARE GOOD AND OUGHT TO BE APPRECIATED. (IV) ALL RIGHT, SO I'D LIKE TO INDULGE IN SOME DISGUSTINGLY EXPENSIVE HELI-SKIING BEFORE I GET TOO OLD TO HANG FROM A CHOPPER.
Also: Laszlo is Swedish and French by nationality and has lived “everywhere,” people and animals have tried to kill him a dozen times. He speaks English, Swedish, Spanish, French and Danish. He is a bit of a giant, and he has probably done more brainless things than your five daftest friends together. Laszlo has also been: a mediocre actor, a too-tall model, an arrogant bridge-player, a chess protégé, a slicing golfer, an art collector/exhibitor an unbalanced rower, and a pathetically slow and unexplosive discus-thrower.
1. SVENSK KONSTGLAS 1991 (Sellin & Blomqvist) is a (paper only) book about the glory of Swedish art glass from the early 20th century to the mid/late. It is a coffee table book, designed to make "the sort of people that influence public opinion" aware of the fact that Swedish art glass 1925 - 1950 was the best in the world and thus protect our cultural heritage; unfortunately, though it sold well, the "message-part" didn't work out as well as I had hoped. The book is available on the second-hand market at places such as eBay & Tradera, at $25 - $200, depending on condition, binding and luck. I have done some work on a second edition, so as to have something ready if Swedish art glass from between the wars "takes off."
2. OTHER BOOKS ON GLASS (work in progress). I am presently fiddling with the writing of a bilingual SWEDISH CRYSTAL. Also, I have gathered the material for a book on FLYGSFORS/COQUILLE/PAUL KEDELV, but that will remain unfinished unless EU assistance is offered.
3. THE CHALLENGE 2015 (Amazon) is inspired by Andres Laszlo Sr.'s best-selling/blockbuster MI TIO JACINTO/MY UNCLE JACINTO. Senior’s: Madrid, "La Quinta," 1940s, bullfighting and 17,000 words in my hands become Cape Town, Mandela Park, 2010, boxing and 75,000 words. It is a book for children of all ages. The book, which comes with 70 great illustrations, is presently available in English THE CHALLENGE, Spanish EL RETO, German DIE HERAUSFORDERUNG, Italian LA SFIDA, French LE DEFI and Swedish UTMANINGEN.
4. THE DRUG PROBLEM 2017 (Amazon) is a book arguing that drug illegality is a dysfunctional discourse and that a society with a more liberal approach to drugs would be a better society; the book offers no opinion on whether drugs are good or bad, but emphatically corroborates that the socioeconomic costs of illegalization are much greater than they would have been, had we taken a more liberal approach. It is a controversial book on a depressing subject-matter that nevertheless is intended to be entertaining: a drug policy book like no other. It is also the first book in the series Dysfunctional Discourses. The book's first half is presently available also in Spanish: EL PROBLEMA DE LA DROGA.
5. THE LASZLO & LASZLO CHRONICLES 2017 (Amazon) is a collection of 45 (22+23) short stories. Both my father and I have led adventurous lives. Many of these stories read like treatments/scenarios; i.e., they are designed to attract the attention of movie producers. The stories are structured (and Senior’s adapted) so as to provide 100 years of continuation and biography. This text is presently available only in English, but a French version should be presented before the end 0f 2017, and the short stories - without chronology/continuity - are available in French as two individual books.
6. TRANSLATIONS/ADAPTATIONS x 5. 2013 - 2017. I have (outsourcing the rough-translations) translated and adapted 5 of Senior's works from Spanish to English (and the remaining 2 are coming).
- MY UNCLE JACINTO, 2015 (Amazon) is a translation and (a minor) adaptation of Andre's Laszlo Sr.'s original text MI TIO JACINTO. This English adaptation has then been translated/published in French 2016 (Amazon): MON ONCLE JACINTO and Swedish 2016 (Amazon): MIN FARBROR TJURFÄKTAREN.
- PACO NEVER FAILS, 2015 (Amazon) is a translation and (a minor) adaptation of Andre's Laszlo Sr.'s original text; an adaptation designed to make the book more attractive to contemporary readers and to film-makers, who in the past have shown much interest.
- SENIOR'S SHORT STORIES, 2017 (Amazon) is (a major) adaptation of Andres Laszlo Senior's collection of short stories SOLO EL PAISAJE CAMBIA in which I have modernized Sr's stories and turned them "towards the screen." These stories have also been translated into French: TOUT PASSE... This text, as adapted, forms part of THE LASZLO & LASZLO CHRONICLES.
- MOTHER UNKNOWN, 2017, is the only of Senior’s three major novels that haven't been turned into a movie (though Senior was negotiating a contract at his demise). This book was never published in English, and as I have had it translated it from Spanish to English, I've also adapted it. Surprisingly, the logic was weak but that is now fixed. The idea is world-class: a man in search of, and not knowing the identity of, his son’s mother.
- DONA JUANA, 2017, (Amazon) is a theatre play dressed up as a novella/short stories, and a shows off Senior as both a writer and the theatre director he was before he started out as a novel-writer. A young girl is about to be dumped by her boyfriend, when Don Juan, traveling from the past, comes along to give a few advice. It is now available in English and would make great theatre/opera. Marcel Marceau performed it as a mime, and I would very much like to see this performed as an operetta/opera, or at least as a theatre play.
7. THE CASPIAN CONNECTION (unpublished) is one of two of my remaining major projects. In this trilogy, we follow the adventures of Odin's son as he walks the earth in the 21st century, unawares of his ancestry and subjected to a plenty temptations that he is supposed to resist. The books are written and close to publishable in both English (THE SEVENTH LOT & A QUESTION OF HONOUR) and Swedish (DET SJUNDE UTROPED & EN FRÅGA OM HEDER). The back and hidden story are quite elaborate, and I think of them as not too far behind those of THE LORD OF THE RINGS.
8. DYSFUNCTIONAL DISCOURSES (unpublished) is my second remaining major project, and something I shall be my academic/intellectual legacy. It holds that we (as in "we humanity") organize ourselves dysfunctionally (as in, for example, illegalizing drugs) and tries to through some light on why we do so.
BOOKS/PROJECTS BY ANDRES LASZLO JR. IN ENGLISH
- The Challenge (Andres Laszlo Jr. Amazon 2015)
- The Challenge: script (Andres Laszlo Jr. Amazon 2015)
- The Drug Problem (Andres Laszlo Jr. 2016)
- The Laszlo & Laszlo Chronicles (Andres Laszlo Jr. & Andres Laszlo Sr. 2017: finished but unpublished)
- My Uncle Jacinto (Adaptation. Amazon 2016)
- Paco Never Fails (Adaptation, Amazon 2015)
- Mother Unknown (Adaptation, 2017: finished but unpublished)
- The Caspian Connection (Andres Laszlo Jr. 2017: 85% written, presentable)
- Swedish Art Glass 2 (Andres Laszlo Jr. work in progress)
- Dysfunctional Discourses (Andres Laszlo Jr. work in progress)
BOOKS/PROJECTS BY ANDRES LASZLO JR. IN SWEDISH
- Utmaningen (Amazon, 2015)
- Min Farbror Tjurfäktaren (Amazon, 2016)
- Svenskt Konstglas (paper book, Sellin & Partners, 1991, available 2nd hand)
- Svensk Konstglas 2 (Amazon, 2016, planned)
- Det Sjunde Utropet (Amazon, 2016, 85% written, presentable)
- En Fråga Om Heder (Amazon, 2017, 85% written, presentable)
- Familjekrönika: 45 korta historier (Available in English, translation planned)
- Drogproblemet (Available in English, translation planned)
- Dona Juana (Amazon 2015)
BOOKS BY ANDRES LASZLO JR. IN OTHER LANGUAGES